Tag: #seriously

Bathroom stages according to the penguin

by southernbelleoncaffeine, posted in Everyday Experiences, The Penguin and The Belle

The Penguin and I were discussing a certain bathroom event and decided we needed to come up with a term we would both be comfortable using. I could have used the proper terminology, sure but, but that would lead to a whole other blog post. Agreeing on a number system, she then broke down the entire number codes for me.

#1-peeing

#2-poohing

#3-diary (diarrhea)

#4-throwing up

#5-diary (diarrhea) and throwing up

#6-peeing, diary, AND throwing up

There you have it peeps. The decoded bathroom numbers according to an eight year old.

#parenting, #motherhood, #reallife, #thebelleandthepenguin, #pottyhumor

Am I the ringmaster or the monkey?

by southernbelleoncaffeine, posted in Everyday Experiences

This morning I was trying to take a bath and shave my legs before someone thought I was an extra for a Wookie. The penguin was sitting on the edge of the tub, Tommy was standing at the edge scrolling on his 📱. I asked “when you are in a mental institution, are there this many people watching you all the time?” Of course in my most sarcastic tone. Tommy replied, “yes, especially if you have a razor”. OMG! Somebody please help me. I’m in a cage.

#southernbellegoingcrazy

#southernbelleoncaffeiene

Where are my underoohs? I just crapped my big girl panties!

by southernbelleoncaffeine, posted in Everyday Experiences

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I have come to despise the ever popular “put your big girl panties on and deal with it ” saying. I can attribute my dislike for this mantra  probably because of its overuse in pop culture and its overuse in my immediate family’s vocabulary. You may be thinking, “well, maybe you need to quit whining AND put your big girl panties on!”. Blah, blah, blah is what I say to that in my most mature voice. First off, this is my blog and I will wine if I want to, secondly I will wear whatever panties I want while I do it.

I am just tired of this grown up stuff and these big girl panties. It just keeps coming, even when I think I am getting a break. I am not talking about the normal every day adult stuff like jobs, bills, children, etc…. Those things I can handle. I knew they were coming with the adult world. I embraced them. It is all of the damn curve balls that keep coming at me that I am exhausted from dodging. Just when I think I can put on my footed, fleece pajamas and curl up and relax just a moment it is time for those stupid big girl panties again.

Are their big boy panties? Or big boy underwear? I have never once heard someone say to a man for him to put on a pair. Why is this? I think my husband needs a pair. Christmas list. Check. If I have to wear these things then by golly someone else is gonna wear them with me. I did not sign on for this alone. Can anyone argue that I have not worn these damn panties with the best of them? I am just weary from it. And they are chafing me. I think it is time to share some of the load.

So this is me. This is my blog. This is me taking the big girl panties off, stepping into my underoohs with Wonder Woman on them (because I am still Wonder Woman) and with my hand on my hips I am stomping my feet and I am screaming at the top of my lungs……………………….

Boy, do I feel better.